jack of all trades master of none
even got lost trying to find the M1
ended up in South Shields with a couple of drunks

moved to Crouch End suburb of cool
took a few drugs acted the fool
fell in love with a girl on her harmonium stool

went round the world in the back of a van
we kept in touch with our only fan
he was short and sweet lived in Japan

the band broke up round a pool in Bangkok
to tell you the truth it didn’t come as a shock
our days were numbered like hands on a clock

so we carried on me and the serious girl
had massive hits all round the world
we got so big we both became ill

flew into London with a bit of a tan
caught the train back to Sunderland to see me old man
we had bacon and eggs from the same frying pan

to walk down the high street
avoiding a scrap
“are you Dave Stewart?”
“yeah”
:you’re a crap”
had a pint in the Beehive then home for a nap

got married in France to an Irish colleen
I was thirty three she was only thirteen
I wore orange but she wore green

now I sit and write plays for myself and my sons
they keep me amused yeah I have much more fun
than big lines of speed at quarter to one
on a peaceful Sunday morning

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