Families lock their doors in fear that criminals might get them – But this Christmas rest assured that I will have my own protection. – I’ll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts – If burgers touch my property they won’t leave here with out a limp – Packing heat this Christmas I’ll shoot it off on New Year’s Eve, – cuz bullets go in outer space when pointed up I believe – A bullet sends a Christmas message that is clear and loud – it says that I will not take all of this bullshit lying down – I’ll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts – I’ll only tell you once “Stay the fuck away from my shit” – I will use my new weapon in self-defense and sport – and to keep the carolers off my god damn porch – and preventing Yuletide homicide’s this year – I won’t be a victim this year thanks to Santa Clause – Sleeping with no fear of danger, and it’s all because – I’ll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts – I’ll only tell you once “Stay the fuck away from my shit” – Christmas needs security , security is weapons. – Vigilante action teaching criminals their lessons – It’s the greatest gift we have taking out our rivals – Thank you Santa, thank you God – for guaranteeing my survival – A bullet sends a Christmas message that is clear and loud – it says that I will not take all of this bullshit lying down – I’ll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts – I’ll only tell you once “Stay the fuck away from my shit” – I won’t be a victim this year thanks to Santa Clause – Sleeping with no fear of danger, and it’s all because – I’ll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts – I’ll only tell you once “Stay the fuck away from my crap – or I’ll bust a cap in your ass!!!”

Come here little boy – I’m a friend of your mother’s – I’ll give you a candy bar if you get in the car – Okay – He’s got his camera – and deep seeded obsessions – His nordic heritage – and sexual frustrations – He wants to be Lief Ericksson – to discover America – but he’s not – He’s just a photographer – who likes little boys in viking suits – He likes to take the little boys – walking home from school – in his neighborhood – Take them to his studio – and dress them up in viking suits – Words of wisdom – Each one rings true – Watching little brothers could happen to you – So don’t grow up to be a guy – Who takes pictures of little boys in viking suits – Come here little boy

Most girls, I can’t wait for them to leave
And they’re giving me the creeps by morning
Most girls, make noises in their sleep, and I hate to
watch them eat
And their boring.
You didn’t rat when the lab caught fire
Throughout the Inland Empire-
You’re my empresses, and I crown you
Most girls, I ben with before are fat and ugly ho’s
Compared to you
Most girls, always think they’re right,
but they’re wrong- fucking wrong
But baby you’re not like that
You understand me and it’s not an act
You’re my empresses, and I crown you


CHORUS
I wanna go with you and leave all this behind us
We’ll live in San Berdo and sell the place in Cypress
Come on let’s do it run away with me honey
We’ll put a bunch of babies in you’re tummy
And fly away?.
Most girls, I’d rather be alone and I can’t answer the
phone
Cuz they’re scaring me
Most girls, get psycho and they’re mean and they
always make a scene
And they’re threatening me
The time apart didn’t hurt us
And now I finished y community service
You’re my empresses, and I crown you


CHORUS

Come on let’s do it run away with me honey
We’ll put a bunch of babies in you’re tummy
And fly away?.
All those years I was just searching
Fuck that noise, baby you’re perfect
All them mean nothing cuz I found you
How did you get so awesome?
Let’s spend the weekend in Laughlin
You are my empresses, I crown you

The city council met last night the vote was one to six – Denying access to our town by TV’s “G.E. Smith” – The Mayor cited nightmares had by his daughter Eileen – She dreamed that ugly fucker’s face popped out the friggin’ screen – They said no, they said no way. – Not in my Back yard he can not stay – That eyesore is a stain upon our nation – If you think he’s livin’ by me there’s no way – G.E. felt the set back but refusing to surrender – He bought a house disguised as the guitarist of the Pretenders – But at the party we like to throw for new homeowners – we caught him when he couldn’t play the lead from “Tattooed Love Boys” – They said no, they said no way. – Not in my Back yard he can not stay – That eyesore is a stain upon our nation – If you think he’s livin’ by me there’s no way – A man has got the right to homestead anywhere he can – but that just begs the question, What exactly is a man? – Blond Frankenstein with Dutchboy hair would hardly qualify – So we must live free of this Hall & Oats reject or die – They said no, they said no way. – Not in my Back yard he can not stay – That eyesore is a stain upon our nation – If you think he’s livin’ by me there’s no way

You’re on tour, I’m alone
Wonder just what you did with your phone
Try usin’ it, I’m losin’ it
(I) never thought I’d lose you this way

Quit the band, Get off stage
Come back home, start acting your age
Look at me, look at us
I just found out I’m not allowed on your bus

“Keep playin’. I’ll stay in.”
I cant’ see myself sayin’
“Keep playin’. I’ll stay in. I’ll be OK.”

Chorus:Well it was cute at the party at the lake
But haulin’ your gear is more than I can take
You said this little band thing wouldn’t last
Guess I’m just a jackass

Stuck outside, got no pass
You happy now? You made me feel like an ass
With you up there, and me out here
Some guy told me to stay away from your beer

“Keep playin’. I’ll stay in.”
I cant’ see myself sayin’
“Keep playin’. I’ll stay in. I’ll be OK.”

Chorus: 2X

For all those who’ve failed – you will have your day – and you’ll hear them say – “I don’t understand how things went wrong, – I’ve always been great, good-looking and strong” – When they feel like you have all the time – It’s your revenge – FAILURE – I guess that’s life, – failure is the best revenge – Be proud of your flounders – and falter with pride – Fail without shame – cuz you never tried – Don’t bother building a trophy case, – Unless they start handing them out for last place – Be humble because no one is safe – It sneaks right up – FAILURE – Everybody join the club, – Failure is the best revenge – FAILURE – Only one way of doing things right, – but a thousand ways wrong, – so join the fight. – In showing the winners we don’t play their games, – an army of losers – retarded and lame – a chance to unite – cuz we’re all the same – It’s great to be a – FAILURE – Never try – Failure is the best revenge – Avoid mediocrity – and run the other way – Stay at the bottom – you’re welcome to stay – Make them remember you for failure without match – Every defeat is a feather in your cap. – I give a crap – We all belong – FAILURE – One billion strong – FAILURE – come join the club – FAILURE – Never try – Failure is the best revenge. Check out more Lyrics from The Vandals. 
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Watching her at the mall she don’t know me at all – Hope no employee over hears – Think I’m in love with you Red, Yellow, White, & Blue – Seems I’ve been watching her for years, – It brings a smile to my face as she hops with style and grace – Way beyond 9 to 5, she’s keeping hope alive – Cafe 405 – I’d always keep her warm in that silly uniform – Tell her every day that she’s the best – Just wanna be with her, I’d never chat on her – Wit someone at Panda Express – And nothing else makes me tick like when she’s on that Pogo Stick – I wish I wasn’t afraid, she’s making lemonade – One day our love will arrive, so glad to be alive – I’m always flattered when my hot dog’s gettin’ battered – She’s gettin’ better at it every day – Shopping mall renegade, she’s makin’ lemonade