Oh, the people would come from far and away,
They’d dance all night ’till the break of day,
When the caller would holler “Do-si-do,”
You knew Uncle Pen was ready to go.

Late in the evening about sun down,
High on the hill and above the town,
Uncle Pen played the fiddle, lord a how it’d ring,
You could hear it talk, you could hear it sing.

Oh, he played an old piece he called Soldier’s Joy,
And he had one he called Boston Boy,
The greatest of all was Ginny Lyn,
To me that’s where the fiddlin begin.

(chorus)

Oh, I’ll never forget that mournful day,
When Uncle Pen was called away,
They hung up his fiddle, they hung up his bow,
You knew it was time for him to go.

(chorus)

Uncle Salty told me stories of a lonely
baby with a lonely kind of life to lead
my mammy was lusted, Daddy he was busted
they left her to be trusted till the orphan bleeds
but when she cried at night, no one came
and when she cried at night, went insane

Uncle Salty told me when she was just a baby
that she’d get by and maybe someday she’d see
but soon she found her mother’s love for all the others
the pushers and the shovers was the life to lead
but when she cried at night, no one came
and when she cried at night, went insane

oooh, it’s a sunny day outside my window
oooh, it’s a sunny day outside my window
oooh, oh yeah
oooh, oh yeah, yeah yeah

now she’s doin any for money and a penny
a sailor with a penny or two or three
hers is the cunning for men who come a-runnin’
they all come for fun and it seems to me
that when she cried at night, no one came
and when she cried at night, went insane

oooh, it’s a sunny day outside my window

(Acoustic Guitar Solo)

Just for the record let’s get the story straight
Me and Uncle Tom were fishin’ it was gettin’ pretty late
Out on a cypress limb above the wishin’ well
Where they say is got no bottom, say it take you down to Hell

Over in the bushes and off to the right
Come two men talking in the pale moonlight
Sheriff John Brady and Deputiy Hedge
Haulin’ two limp bodies down to the water’s edge

I know a secret down at Uncle Tom’s cabin oh yea
I know a secret that I just can’t tell

They didn’t see me and Tom in the tree
Neither one believin’ what the other could see
Tossed in the bodies let ’em sink on down
To the bottom of the well
Where’d they never be found

I know a secret down at Uncle Tom’s cabin oh yea
I know a secret that I just can’t tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom’s cabin
I Know a secret that I just can’t tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom’s cabin
Know who put the bodies in the wishin’ well

(Guitar Solo)

Soon as they were gone me and Tom got down
Prayin’ real hard that we wouldn’t make a sound
Runnin through the woods back to Uncle Tom’ shack
Where the full moon shines throught the roof tile cracks

Oh my God Tom who are we gonna tell
The sheriff belongs in a prison cell
Keep your mouth shut that’s what we’re gonna do
Unless you wanna wind up in the wishin’ well too.

I know a secret down at Uncle Tom’s cabin
I know a secret that I just can’t tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom’s cabin
I know a secret that I just can’t tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom’s cabin
Know who put the bodies, know who put the bodies in the wishin’ well

Terrance: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
You’re a cock sucking ass licking uncle fucka
You’re an uncle fucka, yes its true
Nobody fucks uncles quite like you

Phillip: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
You’re the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka
You dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn,
You just fuck your uncle all day long

(farting noises)
Terrance: Hmm!
(farting noises)
(laughing)
(farting noises)
Some Guy: What’s going on here?
(farting noises)
People: OOOoooooooooooooh
Fucker fucker uncle fucka uncle fucka fucka fucka fucka
T & P: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka (Terrance: uncle fucka)

Terrance: You’re a boner biting bastard uncle fucka
Phillip: You’re an uncle fucka I must say
Terrance: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday
Everyone: (laughing)
People: Uncle fucka… thats
Everyone: U-N-C-L-E fuck you Uncle
Fuckaaaaaa tonight…

Phillip: Suck my balls!

8 o’clock get up get outta bed
I feel like a truck ran over my head
Another day of stress and sorrow
Skip breakfast, ’cause I gotta go
Ain’t got no time to take it slow
And I will do my hair tomorrow

I can’t take it no more
Oh no no no
Is this what I’m living for?

But my Uncle John from Jamaica
Keeps on calling every day
Just buy a ticket and take a
Summer Holi – Holiday

6 o’clock my job is still not done
The life I’m living ain’t no fun
Too many days of stress and sorrow
My boss just won’t give me a break
And this is more than I can take
Think I will quit this job tomorrow

(Bridge)

But my Uncle John from Jamaica
Keeps on calling every day
Just buy a ticket and take a
Summer Holi – Holiday

But my Uncle John from Jamaica
Keeps on calling every day
Just buy a ticket and take a
Summer Holi – Holiday

CHORUS

Oh Uncle Lijiah, Uncle Lijiah
He’s still alive
Oh Uncle Lijiah, Uncle Lijiah
A hundred and five

There was a time early in life
When he gambled to gain
And he carried a knife
And he was winnin’ that very night
He cussed the devil, yes he cussed him good
He swore he’d lick ’em
Yes he swore he could
And he dared him to come to
Him if he would Yeah


CHORUS

It was early in the mornin’
When he got to bed
To rest his weary gamblin’ head
When he heard the angry words
His pappy said
“Lijiah go and fetch some wood!”
He heard his words
And up he stood
Even tho it hurt he knew he should

CHORUS

Outside he heard the rattle of chains
And he ran from someone
He thought insane
As he heard the devil
Callin’ out his name
The devil grabbed his suspenders well
And he trembled
As he felt the hand from hell
And he let out with a hairy yell

He jumped in bed with his
Maw and Paw
And he told ’em that
The devil was in Arkansas
And he told ’em he’d
Quit gamblin’
Or break the law

There’s a portrait of Uncle Alvarez
Hangin’ in the hall
Nobody wants to look at it
But Uncle Alvarez sees us all

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
Better send a postcard and keep the family quiet

He’s not really a part Cherokee Indian
He didn’t fight in the Civil War
He’s just Eugene Isaac Alvarez
We feel sorry for the wall

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
You’re gonna make ’em sorry when you die

And it’s a long way down
You’re hoping for a heart attack
Runnin’ around
Investing in this and that
And your beautiful wife keeps your life on a shelf for you
Safe in the bedroom
Where there’s no dust or mildew
And it’s hard to believe you were once a beautiful dancer

Better just to shake it off
As you write your resume
Don’t think of Uncle Alvarez
And the price he had to pay

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
You’re gonna make ’em sorry when you die

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
Better send some money to the alma mater

Goin’ down to the corner
Gonna have myself a drink
Goin’ down to the corner
Gonna have myself a drink
‘Cause that shit that we been usin’
Sure confuse my thinking
Gonna send out to the drugstore
Buy myself a goat
Tie him up in my front yard
For all my so-called friends to see
Ain’t nobody gonna look in window and laugh at me
I been up so long
That it looks like down to me
Please don’t talk about to me when I’m gone
Baby, are you against me too?
Had a great idea the other night
Come-A-Ti-Yi-Yippie, baby
Look out
When the blue of the night meets the gold of the day
We love you
We love you
We love you

I believe I can’t behave
I behave like Uncle Dave
I’ve got one foot in the grave
Thanks a lot to Uncle Dave

Chorus: Uncle Dave
Raise your hand
Repeat these words
Uncle Dave
The words you’ve seen and heard

Be ?? to hamster love
What the hell is hamster love
Chorus
You are a pretty strange bird
And fun is for the ??

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me
I’ll be coming home, wait for me

Oh, my love, my darling
I’ve hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?

I need your love,
I oh I need your love
God speed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea
Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me, wait for me
I’ll be coming home, wait for me

Oh, my love, my darling
I’ve hungered, hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?

I need your love,
I oh I need your love
God speed your love to me