There she is sitting there
Out behind the smoke-house in her rocking chair
She don’t do nothin’
She don’t say nothin’
She don’t feel nothin’
She don’t know nothin’
Maybe she’s crazy, I don’t know
But maybe that’s why I love her so

Her papa was a midget
Her mama was a whore
Her grandad was a newsboy ’til he was eighty-four
Man don’t you think I know she hates me
Man don’t you think I know that she’s no good
If she knew how she’d be unfaithful to me
I think she’d kill me if she could
Maybe she’s crazy I don’t know
But maybe that’s why I love her so

I’m not afraid of the greywolf
Who stalks through our forest at dawn
As long as I have her beside me
I have the strength to carry on

Today we will be married
And all the freaks that she knows will be there
And all the people from the village will be there
To congratulate us
I will carry her across the threshold
I will make dim the light
I will attempt to spend my love within her
But though I try with all my might
She will laugh at my mighty sword
She will laugh at my mighty sword
Why must everybody laugh at my mighty sword?
Lord, hep me if you will
Maybe we’re both crazy, I don’t know
Maybe that’s why I love her so

Goin’ down to the corner
Gonna have myself a drink
Goin’ down to the corner
Gonna have myself a drink
‘Cause that shit that we been usin’
Sure confuse my thinking
Gonna send out to the drugstore
Buy myself a goat
Tie him up in my front yard
For all my so-called friends to see
Ain’t nobody gonna look in window and laugh at me
I been up so long
That it looks like down to me
Please don’t talk about to me when I’m gone
Baby, are you against me too?
Had a great idea the other night
Come-A-Ti-Yi-Yippie, baby
Look out
When the blue of the night meets the gold of the day
We love you
We love you
We love you

Everyone tells me
I was dealt a losing hand
The way that I look
And the way that I act
It’s not hard to understand
Sure I got troubles
Maybe you got’em too
I’d like to explain what has happened to me
So it doesn’t happen to you

I was born in Los Angeles
Many, many, many years ago
We lived out in North Hollywood then
In a steamy little bungalow
My mother, my father
My baby brother and me
Playin’ cowboys all day
Out there in the valley
What a perfect family

Hey, hey
Get ’em up, get ’em up
Come a ti yi
Hey

Went off to high school
When I was thirteen
I was kind of advanced
If you know what I mean
Got into some trouble
Drinkin’ heavy with my friends in the hills
My daddy had to come down to the station to get me
He said, “Where is my angry young man?”

Take me back
Baby, please take me back
I don’t wanna live here by this dirty old airport
In this greasy little shack
Take me back
Baby, please take me back
Just give me a chance and we’ll start all over again

Now that young girl
Was just a summertime thing
She went back to school
When the school bell ring
Now I do my laundry by myself
Every night I eat alone
Baby please, please, please
Won’t you let me come back home

Goin’ off to college
Passed every test
They said, “Let’s send this boy to Palo Alto
He could be one of the best”
Four years at Stanford
Worked very hard
A lot of good it did me, little tramp,
Your’re ruining my life

Take me back
Baby, please take me back
I don’t wanna live here by this dirty old airport
In this greasy little shack
Take me back
Baby, please take me back
Just give me a chance
And we’ll start all over again
Just give me a chance
And we’ll start all over

You’re still the same girl you always were
You’re still the same girl you always were

A few more nights on the street, that’s all
A few more holes in your arm
A few more years with me

You’re still the same girl

With the same sweet smile that you always had
And the same blue eyes like the sun
And the same clear voice that I always

You’re still the same girl

That I love

Old lady lost in the city
In the middle of a cold, cold night
It was fourteen below and the wind start to blow
There wasn’t a boy scout in sight
Pull down the shades cause he’s comin’
Turn out the lights cause he’s here
Runnin’ hard down the street
Through the snow and the sleet
On the coldest night of the year

CHORUS
Beware, beware, beware of the Naked Man

Old lady head up toward Broad Street
Shufflin’ uptown against the wind
She had started to cry-wiped a tear from her eye
And looked back to see where she had been

Old lady stand on the corner
With a purse in her hand
She does not know but in a minute or so
She will be robbed by a naked man

CHORUS

Old lady lean against a lamppost
Starin’ down at the ground on which she stand
She look up and scream
For the lamplight’s beam
There stood the famous Naked Man

He say, “They found out about my sister
And kicked me out of the Navy,
They would have strung me up if they could.
I tried to explain that we were both of us lazy
And were doing the best we could.”

He faked to the left and he faked to the right
And he snatched the purse fromere hand
“Someone stop me,” he cried,
As he faded from sight,
“Won’t nobody help a naked man?”
“Won’t nobody help a naked man?”

CHORUS

There is a countryard here in Chicago
Down by the river where no one goes
We could be married there in the countryard
By this old Spanish priest that no one knows
And he’ll say
“Nel blu, dipinto
Dipinto di blu
Felice de stare
Di stare lassu”
That means you love him
And he loves you
“Piu bel ci sono
Ci sei tu”

Kathleen, Kathleen, Kathleen
The best one in the world
Kathleen, Kathleen, Kathleen
I’ve always been crazy about Irish girls
I’ve always been crazy about Irish girls

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey,
Come what may
Her, hey, hey, hey
I’m gonna take you away, away

Kathleen, Kathleen, Kathleen
I’ve searched through all the world
I dream of you, Kathleen
I’ve always been crazy about Irish girls
I’ve always been crazy about Irish girls

This big old queen was standing
On the corner of the street
He waved his hanky at me
As I went rolling by
I pulled the truck up on the sidewalk
And I climbed down from the cab
With my tire-chain and my knife
As I approached him
He was trembling like a bird
I raised the chain above my head
He said, “Please, before you kill me
Might I have one final word?”
And this is what he said:
“I am but Half A Man,
Half A Man I’d like to be a dancer
But I’m much too large
Half A Man, Half A Man
I’m an object for your pity
Not your rage”
Oh, the strangest feeling’s sweeping over me
Both my speech and manner have become much more refined
I said, “Oh, what is this feeling?
What is wrong with me?”
She said, “Girl, it happens all the time ”
And you are Half A Man,
Half A Man Look,
you’re walking and you’re talking Like a fag.”
Half A Man,
I am Half A Man Holy Jesus, what a drag