Neurotic Man: Oh, no, what do I do now?!
Maria: Hello?
Neurotic Man: Oh, thanks for coming back, I have another problem!
Maria: Another problem?
Neurotic Man: Yeah!
Maria: What is it this time?
Neurotic Man: Look! Everything! It’s all abierto!
Sung:
Can’t get my window to keep out the snow, ’cause it’s abierto (abierto)
Can’t keep warm when the cold wind blows, my coat’s abierto (abierto)
Folks keep arriving, I don’t know whom
All day long they come into my room
They go to the closet and they take my broom, my door’s abierto (abierto)
It’s horrible! Arrrgggh!
Can’t put this book back on the shelf ’cause it’s abierto (abierto)
Can’t chew my food, can’t feed myself, my mouth’s abierto (abierto)
My chickens ran away without a peep
My horse was something I couldn’t keep
The same can be said for my flock of sheep, my barn’s abierto (abierto)
It’s horrible! Can you help me out fellas?
“Abierto” is the word that got me mopin’
Maria: “Abierto” is the Spanish word for “open”
Neurotic Man: My eyes never let me sleep at night, they stay abierto (abierto)
My hamper can’t keep my dirty laundry out of sight ’cause it’s abierto (abierto)
My milk all went sour and my cheese went bad
I lost all the ice cream that I ever had
‘Cause my fridge is abierto and that makes me mad, ’cause it’s abierto (abierto)
Abierto (abierto), I hate abierto (abierto), abierto (abierto), abierto!
Spoken:
Ya see my problem? Everything’s abierto!
Maria: Yes, I can see that, everything is open.
Neurotic Man: Can ya fix it? Huh? Can ya?
Maria: I think I can fix this situation.
Neurotic Man: Oh, good, good, good, you’re a genius!
Maria: Sure. What you need is this … (opens her toolbox and pulls out the word “cerrado”)
Neurotic Man: Cerrado?
Maria: Cerrado! Everything is abierto, which is the Spanish word for “open”, and this is “cerrado”, which is the Spanish word for “closed”. Cerrado! (everything he sang about now closes)
Neurotic Man: Wow, unreal! Cerrado. You’re the best fixer in the whole world.
Maria: Sure, nothing to it. Glad to help.