I bet you fall in bed too easily
With the beautiful girls who are shyly brave
And you sell yourself as a man to save
But all the money in the world is not enough

I bet you’ve long since passed understanding
What it takes to be satisfied
You’re like a vine that keeps climbing higher
But all the money in the world is not enough
And all the bridges blown away keep floating up

It’s cold
And rough

And I kept standing six-feet-one
Instead of five-feet-two
And I loved my life
And I hated you

(yeah)

It’s cold out there
And rough

And I kept standing six-feet-one
Instead of five-feet-two
And I loved my life
And I hated you

There’s a portrait of Uncle Alvarez
Hangin’ in the hall
Nobody wants to look at it
But Uncle Alvarez sees us all

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
Better send a postcard and keep the family quiet

He’s not really a part Cherokee Indian
He didn’t fight in the Civil War
He’s just Eugene Isaac Alvarez
We feel sorry for the wall

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
You’re gonna make ’em sorry when you die

And it’s a long way down
You’re hoping for a heart attack
Runnin’ around
Investing in this and that
And your beautiful wife keeps your life on a shelf for you
Safe in the bedroom
Where there’s no dust or mildew
And it’s hard to believe you were once a beautiful dancer

Better just to shake it off
As you write your resume
Don’t think of Uncle Alvarez
And the price he had to pay

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
You’re gonna make ’em sorry when you die

Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments
Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy
You might even shake the hands of Presidents
Better send some money to the alma mater

They don’t know what they like so much about it
They just go for any shiny old bauble, and nobody sparkles like you
But I can’t imagine it in better terms
Then naked, half-awake, about to shave and go to work

And I’m starting to think it could happen to me like it did to you
And I’m starting to actually feel it seep through the slick divide now
I don’t crack the door too far for anyone who’s pushing too hard on me

They don’t know what they like so much about it
Maybe it goes on the other side of the hallway
The writing’s so small from here
But I can’t imagine it in better terms
Then naked, half-awake, about to shave and go to work

I won’t decorate my live (x 6)

Okay, this guy walks into a bar
No, I’m just, I’m just fucking with you, I’m kidding
No, there’s this, this young bull and this old bull
And they’re standing on top of a hill

And I tried to tell you before
That that’s why I left California

So they’re standing on top of this hill, right?
And they’re looking out over a pasture full of cows
Whole fucking pasture
And the young bull turns to the old bull, and he goes,
“I got this really good idea.”
And they old bull’s like, “Yeah?”

And I tried to tell you before
That that’s why I left California

“Yeah,” he’s like, “yeah, yeah, I got this really good idea.
Let’s run down that hill and fuck one of those cows.”
And the old bull just looks at him, you know he’s just looking at him
He’s like, “Look, I got a better idea.”
And the young bull’s like, “Oh yeah, what’s your fucking brilliant idea?”
And the old bull goes…

And I tried to tell you before
That that’s why I left California

And the old bull goes, “Let’s walk down that hill and fuck all of those cows, dig?”
You know, like he ain’t been in town long or something, I dunno

And I tried to tell you before
That that’s why I left California