Three steps forward, two steps back
Oblivious to all around
Psyching up for the big jump
Breathing getting deeper
Then charging down the track
Hitting the board just right
All that energy released
And now in perfect flight
That moment when all that training
Comes together perfectly
When nothing seems impossible
Just you, airborne and free

Complete control of mind and matter
Concentration, manipulation
Movements swift, deadly, graceful
Applying oneself with dedication
Martial arts, an ancient skill
Of mind and body in unison
Learning steps, attack and defense
Treating opponents with respect
Gaining skill from yellow to black
Of how to fall, parry, and block
Martial arts, an ancient skill
Of body and mind in unison

Yuppies, I’ve been taught,
Are keen on sport
Two slices wholemeal loaf
Into towelette jogging suit
Once round the park
Quick game of squash
Staving off a heart attack
With F-Plan diet and Filofax
In a world where
Participation can be bought
Yuppies, I’ve been taught
Are keen on sport

Both players and watchers,
No-one knows the rules
That’s what makes the game so great
“Just get out there
And slug your opponent!”
That’s what makes the game so great
That’s what makes the game so great
That’s what makes the game so great

Jos Naylor of Wasdale
Greatest fell runner of our time
Running the mountains
And working the farm
Cutting the bracken
Constructing walls
Studded farm boots
Attacking the fells
Then one day in ’78
The final twist in the tale of Jos The Great
Four slipped discs, a career’s culmination
Jos took a job at Windscale power station
Well, they say you can tell now
When Jos is out running
‘Cause he glows
‘Cause he glows in the dark

The evolution of humankind
An opposing digit, the use of tools
Inventing the wheel, exploring space
Brain size still developing
Two men and a referee
Foam gloves and a silver cup
Devolution about to begin
Round one, ding, ding!
A perfect right to the other’s chin
No tools, wheels, or exploration
Brain size still developing
The evolution of humankind
The evolution of humankind
The evolution of humankind
The evolution of humankind

Oh isn’t it horrible?
I can’t look
He fell on the ski-jump
And he’s not getting up
The car he was driving
Just blew a tire
Oh isn’t it horrible?
He’s all on fire
The race she was running
Was terribly tough
She collapsed with a hamstring
And they stretchered her off
And just when the speedboat
Was picking up speed
It smashed on a wave
And both drivers were dead
Dead!
Oh isn’t it horrible?
The hidden thought
That death and injury
Makes for popular sport

Outside the pub
Smack you in the gob
Get four long years
In Wormwood Scrubs
Put me in a ring
Fit me with gloves
I get money and fame
For doing what I love
Smacking people in the gob
Smacking people in the gob

They call it hopscotch!
Now this is where it all begins
A piece of chalk and a boot-polish tin
Hit the streets, no time to wait
Draw them squares out, 1 to 8
Hopscotch!
Throw that tin and hop along
And now you’re ready to sing the song
I said a-hopscotch a-hoppety-hop
Keep on hopping, no time to stop
It’s called hopscotch!
Th-th-th-they call it hopscotch!

You like to make investments in your favorite sports
Competition pays, talent can be bought
So you made it your business
To make it a business
Now it’s all about getting the check
Into the back of the bank account
Now it’s all about getting the check
Into the back of the bank account
Tills ring! Crowds cheer!