I never liked rugby league, it must be said
Decapitated ears and concave heads
My interest held by just one thing
The greatest commentator ever–Eddie Waring
Whether an up-and-under or an early bath
He was always guaranteed to make me laugh
No Coleman histrionics or Benaud Twang
Just down to earth, good humored
Our man in the stand
And now it’s time for the Mini Marathon
“Can I play the Joker now?”

If I had the wings of an angel
The dirty black arse of a crow
I’d fly over BBC studios
And shit on the bastards below
Shit on, shit on, shit on the bastards below, below
Shit on, shit on, shit on the bastards below

[Big Boi]
Uh-huh, yeah, y’knahmtalkinbout?
A-Town connection right heah
You got Youngbloodz, uhh
featurin Daddy Fatsack, y’knahmtalkinbout?
Outkast, y’knahmtalkinbout?
Yeah, like dis.. check it out

Chorus: repeat 2X (sung)

I know you’re waitin for daddy, it won’t be long shawty
Be patient cause I’m comin to you
Ridin dirty on 85, slow, takin it easy
I don’t want nothin to keep me from you

[J-Bo]
Now the wind blows as I’m on 85, and chiefin good
with a six-pack a that Colt 45 just like I should
And if I could, I will, I might, get blowed tonight
If thangs go right, I’m gon’ cut this hoe tonight
So I’ma get a call, from this broad
Run the game like she ain’t ready
But still indeed, she on her knees, keepin thangs steady
like Betty Crocker, the face doctor
just as she swallows with passion
So now she braggin, laggin behind
What questions she now be askin, so time is passin
Now I’m mashin on, I’m gone, livin in the world of hoes
So I suppose, it’s goin down deep in yo’ city
Cause in these parts, ain’t nuthin bad hard times
Now shawty, please, really

Chorus

[Big Boi]
Sheeeit
I’m lookin for anythang, gonna cut’em up
like everythang, in my stable
Sir Lucius, with the left foot, is ready willing and able
But these hoes will get on your nerves
Fuck all that kickin ’em to the curb
You lackin that tolerance;
You let the hoe swallow it, get off in yo’ parlor an’
stab out to the cajun crab house
or the Jamaican cat house
or the college, frat house
for the gul you just, mad house that rat house
And get you some scrub, she ain’t ya girl
Skeet-skeet one off and dip boi
I’m slick as a curl, smooth as a pearl
Don’t, don’t be givin no gifts boi
On the first date or the worst date
I’m goin all the way on the first play
Like Hail Mary’s to field goals
I think I was put here to drill hoes
For real doe; and while you blowin up my,
bar I’m off in your purse
to get my gas money then I’m back on the ‘spressway
And I’m out this verse, geyeah!

Chorus

[Sean Paul]
Man this shit gettin crazy, this girl wants to face me
Met her jes last week, told me that her name was Stacy
Bad lil’ bitch, add her straight to my collection
Jump in my ‘llac, in my pocket got protection
For thangs to go down, see I ain’t playin around
Got a half a tank of gas, I’m 85 Southbound
It’s a long ass way, I’m from the 20 side of thangs
She said it’s dead serious, hot like some lighter flames
Oh you know how it go, I’m the nigga, she the hoe
She told me some mo’, I shut my Cadillac do’
My hands on the grain, my pedal down to the ground
Ain’t got my license, back so I need to slow down
Now I’m scrapin the flo’, shawty ain’t got on no drawers
Man I’m breakin the law, tryna’ get me this broad
I don’t know what it is, but shawty fine as hell
Slum-type that I like, straight from A-T-L
Shawty yeah!

Chorus (to fade)

It’s the old stock car thing
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!
Round the track and round again
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!
Revving, coughing, stutt-stutt-stuttering
Tongue-in-cheek scrap motor racing
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!
Revving, coughing, stutt-stutt-stuttering
Tongue-in-cheek scrap motor racing
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!
Write-offs end, stock cars begin
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!
It’s the old stock car thing
Crash! Smash! Crash! Ring!

What brings you around?
Did you lose something the last time you were here?
You’ll never find it now
It’s buried deep with your identity
So stand aside and let the next one pass
Don’t let the door kick you in the ass
There’s no return from 86
Don’t even try
Exit out the back
And never show your head around again
Purchase your ticket and
Quickly take the last train out of town

With a flick of the boot and a nod of the head
The ball goes crashing in the back of the net
But the referee and linesman disallow the goal
‘Cause the boot’s on the other foot, the scorer is a girl
All the men they get together
Squawking, balding birds of a feather
The old boys club is under siege
So they’ll never have a woman in the Football League
There ain’t nothing like a dame
To the moral guardians of the game
All the men they get together
Squawking, balding birds of a feather
Sport and life, they’re both the same
Traditional upheld, imbalance remains

(Hey!)

Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to?
You give me something
I can hold on to
I know you think I like the others before
We your name and number on the wall

Chrous:
Jenny, I got your number
I need to make you mine
Jenny, don’t change your number
8675309 (8675309)
8675309 (8675309)

Jenny Jenny, your only girl for me
You don’t know me, but you make me so happy
I tried to call you before
But I lost mind
I tried my imagination,
But I was disturbed

Chorus

I got it (I got it)
I got it
I got your number on the wall
I got it (I got it)
I got it
For a good time
For a good time call

*Instrumental Break*
(HEY!)

Chorus

Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?
(8675309)
On the bright side,
I can always turn to you
*Repeat Until Fade*
(8675309)
8675309
(8675309)
8675309

The millionaires are closing ranks
Tax-dodging in the race to the bank
Listen for the slamming of the stable doors
After the horse has bolted
Trapped fingers, and someone’s to blame
The Jockey Club is tightening the reins
All the wealth and power
Owned by a handful of people
With YTS workers
In the star-studded stables
I have no sympathy for the Inland Revenue
But Lester Piggot, I’m glad they caught you

Deborah was a Catholic girl
she held out till the bitter end
Carla was a different type
she’s the one who put it in
Mary was a black girl
I was afraid of a girl like that
Suzen painted pictures
sitting down like a Buddha sat

Reno was a nameless girl
a geographic memory
Cathy was a Jesus freak
she liked that kind of misery
Vicki had a special way
of turning sex into a song
Kamala, who couldn’t sing,
kept the beat and kept it strong

Zilla was an archetype
the voodoo queen, the queen of wrath
Joan thought men were second best
to masturbating in a bath
Sherry was a feminist
she really had that gift of gab
Kathleen’s point of view was this
take whatever you can grab

Seattle was another girl
who left her mark upon the map
Karen liked to tie me up
and left me hanging by a strap
Jeannie had a nightclub walk
that made grown men feel underage
Mariella, who had a son,
said I must go, but finally stayed

Gloria, the last taboo
was shattered by her tongue one night
Mimi brought the taboo back
and held it up before the light
Marilyn, who knew no shame,
was never ever satisfied
Julie came and went so fast
she didn’t even say goodbye

Rhonda had a house in Venice
lived on brown rice and cocaine
Patty had a house in Houston
shot cough syrup in her veins
Linda thought her life was empty
filled it up with alcohol
Katherine was much too pretty
she didn’t do that shit at all

Uh-uh, not Kathrine

Pauline thought that love was simple
turn it on and turn it off
Jean-Marie was complicated
like some French filmmaker’s plot
Gina was the perfect lady
always had her stockings straight
Jackie was a rich punk rocker
silver spoon and a paper plate

Sarah was a modern dancer
lean pristine transparency
Janet wrote bad poetry
in a crazy kind of urgency
Tanya Turkish liked to fuck
while wearing leather biker boots
Brenda’s strange obsession
was for certain vegetables and fruit

Rowena was an artist’s daughter
the deeper image shook her up
Dee Dee’s mother left her father
took his money and his truck
Debbie Rae had no such problems
perfect Norman Rockwell home
Nina, 16, had a baby
left her parents, lived alone

Bobbi joined a New Wave band
changed her name to Bobbi Sox
Eloise, who played guitar,
sang songs about whales and cops
Terri didn’t give a shit
was just a nihilist
Ronnie was much more my style
cause she wrote songs just like this

Jezebel went forty days
drinking nothing but Perrier
Dinah drove her Chevrolet
into the San Francisco Bay
Judy came from Ohio
she’s a Scientologist
Amaranta, here’s a kiss
I chose you to end this list

I felt remorse, I felt disgust.
I saw your face, of burning rust.
Upon That highway, I met my god.
On that highway, that took my life.
Chorus: We will destroy visions of our demise.
We thought to take. There was no pain,
for words I saw, for words I felt.
I saw the face, but not the name.
I knew the name. I felt disgrace.
Chorus: Jesus Please, this windshield took me away from my family.
I don’t want you. I don’t need you.
Decide my fuckin’ fate now
and no one can tell me a place
where I fucking belong.
I’m gonna kill you.
I’m gonna kill me.
Don’t tell me a way to in this life,
My pain in my life was the one thing I’ll never forget.
Just end this. Just take me away from this place.
I tend to bleed, there was no pain,
there was no time.
Inside our fate.
We fought the line
yellow, red, and yellow died.
This was my pain
Chorus: Jesus please, windshield.