Posed like swallows before a dive
Five lanes, and on the left hand side
Stands Tubby Barlow wet with fear
Not quite sure what he’s doing there
On your marks, get set, and they’re in
Tubby’s consumed by the urge to win
Four are greased lightning, one is lard
But Tubby’s determined not to be left behind
Ten years of being pushed around flash before his eyes
Alone in the schoolyard eating his pride
In third place as they reach the turn
His arms ache and his chest burns
Kids are cheering from the balcony
Tubby’s oblivious, all he can see
Is that this is the moment to change his life
By collecting a trophy on the other side
Past Steven Clough and Kenny Grey
“Mum, mum, I’m winning the race!”
He opens his mouth and water floods in
He’s coughing, choking, panicking
Down once, down twice, ’till someone screams
“Sir, Tubby Barlow’s drowning!”
But Baz Wilson’s already in
Got his intermediate in life saving
The captain of the football team
Idol of every young girl’s dream
Drags Tubby towards the rope
But Tubby’s confused and grips his throat
As both boys begin to skin
“Sir, Baz Wilson’s drowning!”
Tubby opens his eyes for one last time
Sees Baz flailing at his side
Like Jesus after the resurrection
Sees himself as Baz’s salvation
Grabs Baz, heads for the side
“Chariots of Fire” playing in his mind
Meanwhile Steven Clough gets first position
But they’re all watching Tubby save Baz Wilson
Now Tubby lays like a whale on the shore
Gasping and spewing like a real hero
Like a real hero!

with my perceptions in a mix,
down 20 miles through the sticks
to the cloudy town of hellview population 96.
excessive vacancy, well maybe
in the shadow of an eye
all the strangers pass through
where the rules just don’t apply
at the fork turn left a store,
but on the right stay free from sight
because 96 quite bitter beings
like to stack the bodies high
the only way to ever leave is
over flooded by the storm
and entanglement in hellview
brings you fear in 50 forms
they’ve deleted all the tourists
at the bottom of the lake
and not one supports the cause
to leave the blood stay in the veins
here, 3 miles back is where they are
all we ever wanted was an answer
civilized are close but way too far
all we ever wanted was an answer
footprints giving clue to where we are
all we ever wanted was an answer
civilized are close but way too far
all we ever wanted…..
Interesting Fact: This song was inspired by horror movies

Too many teardrops for one heart to be cryin’
Too many teardrops for one heart to carry on
You’re way on top now
Since you left me
You’re always laughin’
Way down at me
But watch out now
I’m gonna get there
We’ll be together
For just a little while
And then I’m gonna put you
Way down here
And you’ll start cryin’
Ninety-six tears
Cry
Cry

And when the sun comes up
I’ll be on top
You’ll be way down there
Lookin’ up
And I might wave
Come up here
But I don’t see you
Wavin’ now
I’m way down here
Wonderin’ how
I’m gonna get you
But I know now
I’ll just cry, cry, I’ll just cry

Too many teardrops for one heart to be cryin’
Too many teardrops for one heart
To carry on
You’re gonna cry ninety-six tears
You’re gonna cry ninety-six tears
You’re gonna cry cry, cry, cry, now
You’re gonna cry cry, cry, cry
Ninety-six tears c’mon and lemme hear you cry, now
Ninety-six tears (whoo!) I wanna hear you cry
Night and day, yeah, all night long
Uh-ninety-six tears cry cry cry
C’mon baby, let me hear you cry now, all night long
Uh-ninety-six tears! Yeah! C’mon now
Uh-ninety-six tears!

[fade]

When I play cricket
I’m the longest at the wicket
I can jump and swim
And I live in the gym
But I can’t come to terms
With my existence as part of the universe
I gaze at the sky
I think how? When? And why?
I go to the lavatory
In tune with astrology
Well I get really confused
With the complicated scoring system
Used in tennis
I get around in canoes
Racing cars, balloons
I drink squash, eat Polo
Mints, climb mountains solo
But I can’t get my head
‘Round that Salvador Dali
Weirdo stuff
I really feel fine
With the planets in line
I see the future in hands
And I live off the land
But I can’t see Frank Bruno
Asking me which star sign
I think he is
Whether you are physically
Or mentally inclined
Imagine what the fun could be
If both could be combined
I know I’m speaking as a weakling
With a cosmic kind of mind
But I can feel in sport emotions
Of a unifying kind
So do whatever you like to do
And whether you win or not
Make sure the game was fairly played
And try to smile a lot
Because whatever you do should be good for you
Make the most of what you’ve got
‘Cause Whatever you do should be good for you
Make the most of what you’ve got

All through the game he shouts at his mates
Talking, talking, talking, never shuts his face
Into the pub for a sporting discussion
He always tries to dominate the conversation
At home there’s more serious things to discuss
His partner tries to prompt him, “Let’s talk about us”
He’s silent now, he has nothing to say
The ball’s in his court, but he don’t know how to play

All gathered ’round the 18th tee
With pringle and tartan and shooting sticks
Binoculars, poised, ready to use
Watching, waiting, there it goes!
Great shot!
Great shot!
What a shot!
Great shot!
The aspiring middle classes
They want to shake the golfer’s hand
Great shot!
Great shot!
What a shot!
Great shot!
But the golfer is busy watching
As his ball lands in the sand

99
I’ve been waiting so long
Oh 99
Where did we go wrong
Oh 99
I love you

99
I keep breaking your heart
Oh 99
How can we be apart
Oh 99
I love you

I never thought it would happen
I feel quite the same
I don’t want to hurt you anymore
I never knew it would work out
No one to blame
You know i love you 99

99
You keep holding my hand
Oh 99
They don’t know who i am
Oh 99
I love you

I never thought it would happen
I feel quite the same
I don’t want to hurt you anymore
I never knew it would work out
No one to blame
You know i love you 99

99
I can’t take it no more
Oh 99
Oh we were so sure
Oh 99
I love you

I never thought it would happen
I feel quite the same
I don’t want to hurt you anymore
I never knew it would work out
No one to blame
You know i love you 99

I feel I’m burning up with fever
The fire’s feeling really good tonight
But it’s all right
Cuz I’m gonna see Sahara Jack and Suntan Sally
Somebody tells me even Tommy’s coming down
tonight, If Gina says it’s all right

I’m gonna see those senoritas lying under the sun
Yeah they’re greasing it up with their stereos on
You know I want to be their blanket, gonna tell every girl
Hey baby you’re the one

(chorus)
Whoa, tell the boys I’m on my way
I got the radio blasting in my old man’s Chevrolet
I got a party in my pocket,
and you know I just got paid
And I’m feeling fine, it’s 99 in the shade.

When the sun goes down, that’s when the street heats up
Senorita, margarita, fills your empty cup tonight
She makes me feel so right
A good time here doesn’t cost much money
Just a little sweet talking, let the pretties in the party
And you’re set for life
Or one hell of a night

I can see those sons of beaches
with the surf and the sand and they’re living it up
Yu know life ain’t so tough
So get me in the action
Gotta tell every girl she’s the one

(repeat chorus)

And I’m feeling fine, it’s 99 in the shade
(I can almost taste it!)

99,…99,..99,…
99 in the shade,….
99,,,99,…..
99 in the,…whoa!!

(repeat chorus)
sub: I got the radio CRANKED in my old man’s Chevrolet

99 K?sten Bier
Stehen pl?tzlich vor der T?r
Die m?ssen wohl vom Himmel sein
Denke ich und st?rz’ mich rein.
Ich mach’ die erste Flasche auf
Und hau’ sie mir auch gleich in Bauch.
Dann ist der erste Kasten leer,
Und schon mu? dann der zweite her.

Es klingelt pl?tzlich an der T?r
Ich schwank’ im Zimmer hin und her
Es ist mein Kumpel, der da steht
Der merkt sofort, wie’s mir geht.
Seine Leber f?ngt auch schon an zu schrein,
Er haut sich auch ‘ne Flasche rein.
Dann gehen uns die Lichter aus,
Mein Kumpel sieht schon ‘ne wei?e Maus.

Jetzt sind die K?sten alle leer
Wir beiden sagen gar nichts mehr.
Meine Mutter, die uns beide fand,
Kotzte erst ‘mal an die wand.
Sie holt gleich den Doktor her,
Wir beide r?hrten uns nicht mehr.
Die sind wohl alle voll im Tran,
sagte der Doktor, der gleich kam.
Ich machte meine ?uglein auf
und sch?ttete mir noch ‘nen Whisky drauf.

Chorus:
99 K?sten Bier
Sind das Allerliebste mir.
Ich sauf’ mir noch meine Leber tot,
Meine dicke Nse ist schon ganz rot.
Meine Mutter f?ngt immer an zu schrein,
Junge, la? das Saufen sein
Doch mir ist das alles schei?egal,
Sterben tun wir alle mal

It’s not so much the distance nor the time it takes
It’s not even the cold nor the pains or aches
I can cope with blisters and the weight of my pack
And I don’t mind the rain if I’ve got my mac
But have I cursed Wainwright in my time
To be fair, he said it’s all muck and slime
The creeping sludge, the never-ending peat
It were that that nearly finished me, it nearly had me beat
Peat bogs, peat bogs, more peat bogs
You’d never credit it–they burn the stuff instead of logs
Peat bogs, peat bogs, more peat bogs
Well it’s such a funny stuff is peat, it’s nature’s own glue
It got to me, it did, and by the end of day, too
I thought, I’m only carrying on so that I can say
If I’ve done nothing else, I’ve walked the Penine way
But I did it seven years ago, so why do it again?
Well I don’t really know, and I didn’t know then
Unless it’s this that’s been nagging at my noggin
Peat bogs and me have got this love/hate thing
Peat bogs, peat bogs, more peat bogs
You’d never credit it–they burn the stuff instead of logs
Peat bogs, peat bogs, more peat bogs