We skipped the light fandango
And turned cartwheels across the floor
I was feeling kind of seasick
The crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
As the ceiling flew away
Whe we called out for another drink
The waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale

She said there is no reason
And the truth is plain to see
But I wandered through my playing cards
Would not let her be
One of sixteen vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
At the moment my eyes were open
They might just as well have been closed

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale

You come to me at midnight and say, ‘It’s dark in here.’
You know you robbed me of my sight, and light is what I fear
I tell you that I can not see but you persist in showing me
those bangles that I paid for long ago

And though my face is smiling I’m really feeling low
and though you say you’re with me I know that it’s not so

Your skin crawls up an octave, your teeth have lost their gleam
The peaches snuggle closer down into the clotted cream
and for some unknown reason my watch begins to chime
and though I beg and plead with you, you tell me it’s not time

And though my face is smiling I’m really feeling low
and though you say you’re with me I know that it’s not so

The sun seeps through the window to see if we’re still dead
to try to throw some light upon the gloom around our bed
At quarter past the doorbell rings, the water faucet drips and sings
and still my reason will not rhyme, and still you tell me it’s not time

And though my face is smiling I’m really feeling low
and though you say you’re with me I know that it’s not so
You really know that it’s not so

Don’t eat green meat it ain’t good for you
you know it killed your brother, killed your sister too
even fresh fried chicken on new-mown sand
can’t beat red beans eaten outa your hand

Oh Mabel, Mabel! You know I love you gal but I’m not able
Mabel, oh Mabel, please get off the kitchen table

Don’t slice no onions, don’t peel no grape
dream about banana slice nor sniff around short cake
and if on a winter’s day you find your sundial’s wrong
you’ll know the weather is what’s brought it on

Oh Mabel, Mabel! You know I love you gal but I’m not able
Mabel, oh Mabel, please get off the kitchen table

Put the peas in the pot, put the pot on the hot
In the cellar lies my wife, in my wife there’s a knife
so tote that hammer, lift that pick
and banish inhibition with a pogo stick

Oh Mabel, Mabel! You know I love you gal but I’m not able
Mabel, oh Mabel, please get off the kitchen table

Jostle, hassle, elbow bustle
in a swirling rainbow tussle
Caught and frozen, broken sheen
now unites for one brief scene

Lonely in the dark I grope
the key’s in my kaleidoscope

Confused faces change their places
take up stances, exchange glances
Lost in multicoloured hues
there is no whole which I can choose

Lonely in the dark I grope
the key’s in my kaleidoscope

In one face, one moment’s fusion
Realise the new illusion
Clutching fingers break the puzzle
jostle, hassle, elbow bustle

Still out in the dark I grope
the key’s in my kaleidoscope

My amazon six-triggered bride
now searching for a place to hide
still sees the truth quite easily
but shrouds all else in mystery
while madmen in top hats and tails
impale themselves on six-inch nails
and some Arabian also-ran
impersonates a watering can

Some Santa Claus-like face of note
entreats my ears to set afloat
my feeble sick and weary brain
and I am overcome with shame
and hide inside my overcoat
and hurriedly begin to quote
while some Arabian sheikh most grand
impersonates a hot-dog stand

The Red Cross ambulance outside
can only mean that I must hide
’til dusk and finally the night
when I will make a hasty flight
across the sea and far away
to where the weary exiles stay
and some Arabian oil-well
impersonates a padded cell